She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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