this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
