I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
