then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
