His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
the liver wants what the liver wants
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
