If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
