an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The power of my boobs compel you
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
