Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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