I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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