FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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