Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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