she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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