I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
