He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We left the knife in your bed.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
