Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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