i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
