Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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