there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
