..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
