it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
