My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
