I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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