so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
