Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
