Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
