What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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