You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
