A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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