Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
