is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
