Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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