i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just want nice things and good sex
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
