Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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