Ambien. No doubt about it.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
