This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
