I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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