I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
