okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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