porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
