Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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