Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
