you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
