YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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