I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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