I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
