My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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