You made me cry and you don't even care
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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