i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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