The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
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