I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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