remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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