Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
