Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
