Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
