You smell like a Billy Joel song
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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