Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
