she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
