Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
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