Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
