I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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