Your tits are I can't wait for
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
