I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
