return my video game
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
