You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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