Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
