Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize