I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
