I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
