batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
