"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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