Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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